How Being a "Bitch" Can Be a Gift
Speak up to make sure your specific needs are met. What may feel like being a bitch (you’re not!) is actually you giving a gift.
I’m having my house painted; it’s been several years and it needs some sprucing up, nothing fancy. We simply asked them to match the paint and make it look like new.
The other day, I came home and it looked great but it was a little off.
Instead of grey and white, it just looked a little more like cobalt blue…. it was a VERY slight difference,but noticeable nonetheless.
A pit fell into my stomach. This team of guys had been working so hard, in TRIPLE digit heat for DAYS. Could I really make a fuss about this? “God, they’re gonna think I’m SUCH a bitch” I thought.
So, I slept on it.
In the morning it was still bugging me–a clear indication a boundary needed to be set. I apologized to the guys but let them know the color was off– it was slight, it was VERY close and they had done a GREAT job, but could they please rematch and repaint the trim
Without a problem, the next day my house was done, PERFECTLY and good as new.
What COULD have happened is I would have stuffed my feelings down, prioritized thinking of them over MY needs despite being the paying customer, and then been secretly unhappy with it.
I’d never hire them again, never refer them, and they’d have NO CLUE WHY.
How many times has this same thing happened in relationships???
Instead, I let them know my needs. I wasn’t being a bitch, I was giving them a gift. It was only after they knew the problem that they could fix it.
I was so impressed with the quality of their work, with their quick rectification of the problem, and their great attitude that I hired them on the spot for two additional projects around the property. They’ll FOREVER be my go-to referral when someone asks about a painter.
For them, it’s a gift that will KEEP giving. Stating our needs has so often been mislabeled as “confrontation” rather than opportunity, and creates long standing problems in so many relationships.
Can you think of some 🎁 you need to start giving to help improve your relationship and give your partner a better chance at making the both of you happy?
Also, if you need a painter, I can hook you up! 😉
XOXO – Lindsey